Friday, June 26, 2009

My 1st wedding anniversary

Yes you guessed right. I am married to my work.

Dear IBM,

My darling husband, we have been married for a year now. I still remember vividly this day last year how we were united. I was scared and excited as every new bride should be. Thanks for the wedding party at the Le Meridian.

I have been a faithful wife to you this past one year. I have never been more commited in my life to anything else. I served you morning and night, through sickness and in health.

The 1st 2 months of our union were the sweetest. Two whole months of pure party. After that I realized the responsibilities that this union had brought upon me. I was no longer in the shelter of my Daddy's house. I fought for you, I fought with you. In the end you always won. But what you dint know was I always let you win.

You gave me financial stability, but for all the money I never really found time to enjoy it cause you were always in need of my constant attention. Along with the financial status came the new responsibility of managing money and paying bills. Now my Daddy used to pay all my bills before this so it took me a while to adjust to my new life.

I have had many ups and downs in our journey together, but more downs than ups. I lost count of the weekends and late nights of hard toil I put in, Just to make you happy. And more often than not you returned my efforts with a scorn or a sneer and no appreciation.

Still in spite of everything, I hold no grudges. Because without you society would never have respected me. So like any devout Hindu wife I wear the 'Mangal Suthra' (holy matrimonial necklace, in this case being my work ID) around my neck and serve you day in and day out.

I realize that our relationship is not exclusive as you have many other wives and umm husbands. But none the less I treasure our relationship. I have had the time to think of what it would be like to not be with you. But this year of our journey together has made me realize: there's nothing else I'd rather be 'doing' ;)

Happy Anniversary!!

- Your loving wife, (I've even added your name as my last name)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

When Im in love :)

A lil bit of soul searching... its been a while.

Picture this... A good friend of yours is in pain. Why? He/She is madly in love or in a troubled relationship or in a crappy job. Well you'd like to see them throw in the towel and walk away but they just wont do it! You wonder why.. this person has personality, relatively good looks, very talented, etc. You know for a fact that they can do a lot better than the situation they are in. Then why is it so hard for the person in question to see it for themselves?

The answer is quite simple actually. They dont love themselves as much as they ought to.

Sounds cheesy? Well think about it. This hit me most profoundly once during college. A guy had treated my best friend like garbage. I was all out for his blood. I wanted nothing less than murder. But my dear friend on the other hand was just upset. Thats all. No anger. It was almost like she expected to be treated that way.

Funny thing is when something similar happened to me I wasn't the one who was most upset. My closest friends would have shredded the guy in question had he been around. But I was just content being depressed.

When you think of someone your close to being in pain or suffering you tend to be protective because you love them and care about them. Now think about it. If you cared about your own feelings, if you loved yourself just half that much you wouldn't get yourself in messes to start with.

So hence I started actively 'loving' myself. Putting my needs before others sometimes. Doing something just because I felt like it. Just like how I'd treat a significant other. Now theres a fine line between loving yourself and selfishness. Loving yourself involves realizing what an amazing person you are. Doing things for yourself that you have to go out of your way to do.

For example something very simple yet totally satifying, was when I got a professional pedicure. Yeah stop laughing now. Think about it. It costs a small bomb, my feet are in perfectly good condition so I dont technically need one. But I just went ahead and got one. And boy I loved the pampering. It's just a matter of making yourself feel worthy of the finer things in life (can be read as worthy of finer people too).

After all if you dont love yourself, is it really fair to expect someone else to love you?